#just traumatizing everyone left right and center

[ambrosiagourmet]

I love Izutsumi. She's got a great design, she's a fun addition to the main party, she adds some new tension, and she's honestly one of the reasons I read dungeon meshi in the first place. I mean, "the most cat to ever girl" is an extremely appealing hook to anyone who loves cats and girls (me, I love cats and girls).

However, while I have always liked Izutsumi, I finished the story kind of feeling like I didn't really get her. I felt like I had a decent grasp on her character an character arc (she's a traumatized teen given space to feel safe and open up, and because of that she realizes that she can't grow without letting go of the coping mechanisms she once needed). But I didn't feel like I really understood her role in the story as a whole.

She follows the group of her own accord, after a coincidental meeting and a misunderstanding of what they can do for her. She's never super invested in saving Falin, at least not compared to the rest of the group. Though they do help her escape Maizuru's shackles, and are clearly good for her in general, she doesn't really have a healing Moment with the group the way that Senshi does with the hippogriff soup.

And yet, she gets an entire chapter, the third-to-last chapter, dedicated to exploring her growth and future. She's the one who frames much of the falling action, who lets us check in with everyone. She's the one who helps talk Laios into accepting his role as king. She may join the story part way through, but she is there for most of it. So Izutsumi! What's your deal!?

Well, I think I've come up with an answer, at least for myself, that I really like. Two of them, even! Though they both really work together to form the overall point - Izutsumi is the character that most helps the story face towards the future. Here's why I think that.

So the first of these "ah-ha" moments was when I realized that Izutsumi really is the best supporting evidence for Laios' point about the good things that wouldn't have happened if Falin hadn't died.

If Falin hadn't been eaten by the dragon, Izutsumi probably would still be a slave. It was because of Shuro and Laios' parties both being in the dungeon to rescue Falin, as well as Marcille's use of ancient magic in the resurrection, that she got the chance to escape. None of that would have been the case if Falin hadn't died. Shuro wouldn't have separated from the group and joined up with his retainers, Marcille wouldn't have revealed her knowledge of ancient magic, and Izutsumi never would have even met any of them. They are only part of her life because of Falin's death.

Though this isn't explicitly pointed out by Laios or Izutsumi in the scene, I do think you can very much feel the presence of it. For one, when Marcille reflects on the journey and how much it made her realize she didn't want to lose everyone, her relationship with Izutsumi is prominent:

It's the main original group at the top and center, but when you read it right to left, it’s Izutsumi and Marcille who might catch your eye first. And it's specifically Marcille and Izutsumi's relationship on display here, not just Izutsumi's presence in the group in general.

Also, after Laios' statement about how none of their adventure would have happened without Falin dying, it is Izutsumi who gets the final word:

Izutsumi is also the one here who is the most forward-facing. Chilchuck is trying to correct Laios, Senshi is focused on the immediate future, and Izutsumi is talking about her new goal.

And I want to talk about that goal in general as well, because it’s also interesting how it comes up. In that moment, everyone is trying to remind Marcille of her less destructive desires - to eat food, to share it with them, and to meet Chilchuck's family. All of which are previously established, existing desires. When prompted by Chilchuck to join in, however, Izutsumi offers something new:

That's interesting, isn't it? It's kind of funny, of course, to see her rambling on about a completely new thing, her own personal motive, in the middle of everyone working together to reach out to Marcille. Izutsumi doesn't even know who Yaad is! But at the same time, it’s kind of meaningful. Amidst the focus on desires that everyone already had, she adds a completely new one to the mix. It’s even the final bridge that lets Laios reach Marcille.

It is, in fact, even an idea that comes back later to help out another lord of the dungeon. The idea of finding new goals and feeling new desires... this is exactly how Kabru reaches out to Mithrun, after the Winged Lion is gone

So yeah, Izutsumi's presence here, both in what she's actively choosing to say as well as what she represents of the consequences of Falin's death, supports the story's ideas of moving forward. Of accepting the past, and finding new reasons to live.

Which is all really good, and that alone works pretty well as an answer to what Izutsumi's role in the story is.

But oh, oh. There's more. Something I realized after having thought of all this, because I still couldn't let go of the feeling that there was still something I was missing.

And as I reviewed the things I loved about Izutsumi - her sometimes unhealthy ways of coping with trauma, her struggles with isolation, her skill with fighting, her selfishness contrasted with the ways she grows to care for and protect the group, her perpetually guarded nature, born from the seeming impossibility of ever fitting in or finding a safe place to just be herself - I realized something.

Izutsumi...

is a foil to Falin.

Where Falin copes with isolation and trauma by being eternally caring and struggling to say no to people, Izutsumi copes by constantly saying no to everything she can. Falin is often considered selfless, but does have selfish desires that she can’t easily express until a moment of crisis. Izutsumi is delightfully selfish, but chooses to stick by her friends when they need her. They are both transformed, against their will, into partly monstrous hybrids, and they both will have to live with that - there is no undoing what has been done to them.

Falin anchors the group in the past. Izutsumi pulls them towards the future. Neither would find freedom without the other - it is Falin's death that leads to Izutsumi joining the party, and likewise, it is Izutsumi who inspires the realization of how they can save Falin.

And Falin is her future, as much as Izutsumi is Falin's. Both learn to be a little more like each other, even though they never meet. Falin gets a little more selfish. Izutsumi gets a little more willing to bend.

In this context, I feel like I have finally started to understand just how important Izutsumi is to the story. She is a proof that they cannot just go back, and she is a clawed, happy-to-scratch-anyone-who-pisses-her-off reminder, at that. In any conversation about what the group wishes would have happened with Falin, she cannot be ignored or brushed aside.

She is a reminder that, even in the midst of a tragedy so big it feels like a shadow you will never escape, you have yet to met all the people you will love. Hell, some of those people might even be catgirls. We should all be so lucky.

[sophrosynesworld]

Just Friends?

actor!Katsuki x actress!Reader

The studio lights cast a warm glow over the set as the host welcomes everyone back from the commercial break. I stand in the wings, nervously fixing my hair. Katsuki stands beside me, unfazed by the upcoming interview. The audience buzzes with anticipation, eager to hear from us about our latest movie.

"Welcome back to the Midnight Mic, everyone!" Late-night talk show host Hizashi Yamada greets the crowd, his voice bouncing around the room, riling everyone up. "We have a great show lined up for you tonight, so don't leave your seats!" Hizashi walks from center stage over towards his desk, pulling out the chair before directing his attention towards the second camera.

"Tonight, we have some amazing guests. Please join me in welcoming two of the biggest stars on the silver screen, Katsuki Bakugo and his leading lady!"

The applause is deafening, and I can't help but smile. Katsuki gestures for me to walk out first, my heels clicking as I wave to the audience. It's instantly twenty degrees hotter as the stage lights beat down on me. I don’t have to look back to know when Bakugo follows; the crowd’s excitement peaks as he steps out, giving a casual nod, his usual confident demeanor softened by a playful smirk. He glances at me as we sit, leaning over to adjust my dress.

"It's great to have you both here," Hizashi begins, turning towards us. "You two have been the talk of the town with your new film. How's the stardom feel?"

Katsuki leans back in his chair, clearly relaxed. "It's been a wild ride," he admits, a hint of amusement in his voice. "Most of us have done fine with the publicity. My co-star, on the other hand," he jokes, nodding towards me, "couldn't handle the heat at first."

I laugh, covering my red cheeks before nudging him playfully. "Yeah, this is just my first major hit. I wasn't used to the more persistent fans. This has been a wonderful experience though. The entire crew has really bonded over the last twenty weeks.

Our host raises an eyebrow, intrigued. "You seem to have a great dynamic, both on and off screen. What's it like working together?"

I glance at Katsuki, who gives me a look that says, "Go ahead." I smile and turn back towards Hizashi. "It's honestly been amazing. I don’t think Katsuki liked me very much in the beginning—"

“I didn’t.”

"—but I finally wore him down enough to tolerate me." I laugh, swatting his arm away while crossing my legs. "He’ll never admit it, but we clicked right away. It'll inflate his ego, but he's won three Oscars for a reason." I laugh lightly, smiling at the memories.

Katsuki grins, crossing his arms. "She’s being modest. I've won 4." The crowd laughs as he changes the conversation. "Honestly, she's the best costar I've had in a while. She's going to kill me during the nominations this year. I mean, there was this one scene where she just—"

"Oh, no, not this story," I interject, laughing.

He chuckles, ignoring my protests. "We're filming this one scene with all these seasoned professionals, folks who have been in this business for decades." He pauses, looking at me. "They had to rewrite the first version of the scene because her acting was so horrifyingly raw and realistic that it traumatized the crew. They thought she was actually dying."

Our host leans in, clearly shocked. "Are you going to tell us more? You can't leave us with crumbs!"

Katsuki shakes his head, his crimson eyes sparkling with mischief. "Definitely not. You'll have to see it in theaters to find out."

I shake my head sheepishly. "I don't even know if they left it in or not. They told me to act, so I did."

"This is why I love you guys. You're always so honest about your lives." Hizashi grins. Now, I hate to gossip, but there's been a lot of questions about your off-screen relationship. Care to clear up the rumors?"

Katsuki and I exchange a knowing look, a silent agreement passing between us. I decide to answer, leaning forward slightly. "We have a really close friendship. We're both super passionate about our work and love what we do, which makes working together even better. We definitely have a flirty friendship, but it's all in good fun."

Katsuki nods, his expression softening. "Yeah, she's great. We just get each other, you know? It's easy to be around her, whether we're on set or just hanging out."

Hizashi smiles, clearly enjoying our interview. "Well, it's clear that you two have a special connection. Before we go, is there anything you'd like to say to your fans?"

I turn to the camera, feeling a wave of gratitude. "Just a huge thank you to all the fans for their amazing support. This entire experience has been mind-blowing, and I can't wait for everyone to see it. We hope you love it as much as we do."

Katsuki chimes in with a grin. "Yeah, thanks for sticking with us, extras. Our new movie comes out in theaters September 22nd!"

The audience laughs and claps, clearly enjoying their money spent. Hizashi wraps up our segment, and as the band leads us to commercial, Katsuki leans over, nudging me gently. "You did great," he murmurs, a genuine smile on his face.

I grin back at him. "You weren't too bad yourself," I tease, standing up and heading back towards the green room, waving goodbye to some of our fans in the audience.

Katsuki is quick to follow, his steps only a few paces behind mine, practically pushing my bodyguard out of the way. I open the door and sit down on the oversized couch. Katsuki follows my lead, plopping himself close to me. His large hands almost instantly wrap around me, lifting me up and pulling me into his chest. I straddle him, our bodies dangerously close together.

"Just friends?" Suki whispers, his lips grazing mine as he looks at me.

"Just friends," I reply, the words soft and delicate as my freshly polished fingers wrap around the fabric of his shirt, closing the distance between us.

Authors Note: I'm obsessed with this idea and could probably write 200 of these little one shots.

[astrojulia]

Astro Observations from the Deep Sea #2

~Aries houses edition

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♂⟶ Sometimes communication with relatives and neighbors can be challenging to 3rd house Aries, and it's important to keep everyone in the loop, especially if their interests are involved.

♂⟶ 8th house Aries have a strong and resilient spirit that has helped they overcome difficult times, they are determined to succeed and have a deep drive to win.

♂⟶ 9th house Aries hold their philosophical and religious beliefs with conviction, but they are open to hearing different perspectives and engaging in discussions with those who have opposing views.

♂⟶ The 8th house is a house that speaks of difficulties we go through, 8th house Aries difficulties can involve been bullied and mistreated by others and these traumatic events have left them feeling powerless and overwhelmed, causing them to act out in destructive ways.

♂⟶ Aries Rising may tend to view things subjectively from a self-centered perspective, they also maintain objectivity in their perception of things and give factual weight to them.

♂⟶ 6th house Aries generally very healthy and resilient, having a lot of energy and a strong body but they realize that they are sick when their body is already screaming, it's important to listen to your body's needs and avoid pushing yourself too hard since sometimes you are more focused in a mental schedule for your health them your body needs.

♂⟶ Aries Rising don’t wait for opportunities to come to them, acting a lot like “you already have the no” in other words, if you don’t try it's obvious that what you want won't work, but if you try, maybe you will.

♂⟶ Many individuals will be drawn to 5th house Aries because of their strong physical appearance and powerful physical appeal.

♂⟶ 12th house Aries believe in the power of new ideas to challenge and improve the world, but they also understand the potential for resistance and conflict, so they’re the first to see revolutionary acts, because there is always rebellion and dissatisfaction beforehand.

♂⟶ 9th house Aries have a natural curiosity and prefer to learn through hands-on experiences rather than traditional academic settings.

♂⟶ 7th house Aries are drawn to partners with a bold, go-getter attitude, finding attractive when your partner can pursue their desires with ease - especially when it comes to pursuing them.

♂⟶ 2nd house Aries, with the right mindset and a bit of careful planning, can achieve their goals while maintaining a healthy relationship with money like a truck.

♂⟶ 3rd house Aries are not always focused on execution, but rather on the big picture and the possibilities.

♂⟶ 8th house Aries have a strong will and inner strength, with them they have the potential to achieve great things and create a fulfilling life for themself and others.

♂⟶ Aries Rising has a great desire for fame in their lifes and maybe even being one of the best Risings to deal with it because reality is one, fame is lonely, a loneliness that this placement can handle.

♂⟶ 5th house Aries creativity is a major strength, allowing them to live in the present moment.

♂⟶ Aries Rising vitality and character allow them to succeed through their own efforts.

♂⟶ Sometimes when things don't go as planned, it can be frustrating and stressful for 6th house Aries. Just remember to take a deep breath and approach challenges with a positive attitude.

♂⟶ It's important to 2nd house Aries strike a balance between their desire for financial security and their impulsive tendencies.

♂⟶ 3rd house Aries passion for building and design may lead them to pursue degrees in engineering or architecture.

♂⟶ Independence and freedom are extremely important to 2nd house Aries and their see these characteristcs as valuable in their friendships, relationships and work (to be honest, in their life as a whole).

♂⟶ 6th house Aries natural drive and determination will help them succeed in whatever they put theit mind to.

♂⟶ 5th house Aries enjoy discovering new games and taking on innovative tasks, often take the initiative to try them out on their own and something feeling lonely when the subjects are their hobbies.

♂⟶ While 2nd house Aries may make impulsive purchases, you also have a strong drive to reach financial security and are quite aggressive in your pursuit of it.

♂⟶ Some of the reasons that Aries Risings can be famous are for their ambition, courage, initiative, creativitu, audacity, drive… characteristics that if you think of someone you have as an inspiration in life, that person has.

♂⟶ 7th house Aries values their own independence and appreciate a partner who's self-reliant and active so both can do their own activies without being jealous.

♂⟶ 3rd house Aries don't like to rely on others to do their thinking for t,hem and they’re always eager to learn something new. However, they may find it difficult to commit to something long enough to truly master it.

♂⟶ As someone who is attuned to the dynamics of groups, 11th house Aries are quick to notice and address any negative behavior, such as dishonesty or insincerity.

♂⟶ 2nd house Aries might find that their thrive in fields related to construction, mechanical design, or architecture, as these industries can help you build a strong financial foundation. But professions such as police work, military service, firefighting, manufacturing,knit and crochet can be especially lucrative for you, as you have a strong desire to make money and are confident in your ability to do so.

♂⟶ As 4th house Aries get older, they might even start to feel more youthful, active, and playful.

♂⟶ While disagreements among younger family members may be common, 4th house Aries are often the one who coordinates family activities and assigns tasks as needed.

♂⟶ 10th house Aries drive and passion make you well-suited for careers in fields such as law enforcement, military, medicine, construction, and design.

♂⟶ 4th house Aries has difficulty to be open to compromise and listening to their family's needs and desires, thinking they know what's best for their family without consulting them and being authoritative in the family environment. It's important to remember to keep an open mind and be respectful of their opinions.

♂⟶ 6th house Aries brings a lot of enthusiasm and dedication to their daily routine, being able to infect others with this energy, as well as irritating those who are not very keen.

♂⟶ 4th house Aries have a lot of energy and stamina to manage their family and household responsibilities, making likely to take on a leadership role in family matters.

♂⟶ 7th house Aries can get pretty hostile if they feel like they’re being trapped or held back.

♂⟶ 9th house Aries adventurous spirit drives you to seek out unique and exciting experiences, especially in new and foreign cultures. Traveling is a passion of them, and they eagerly embrace new opportunities to explore.

♂⟶ 4th house Aries home is a hub of activity for their family, making they like indoor activies and and being very domestic people (principally combined with Capricorn Rising)

♂⟶ Aries Rising has a natural tendency to use themself as a reference point for integrating other aspects of their mind and personality. They also uses a lot of first person vision to talk about their stories and life, trying to connect with others talking about similar life experiences.

♂⟶ 8th house Aries understand the importance to be positive,kind, undertanding and constructive with themself and others so the harming cycle can end.

♂⟶ 6th house Aries are determined and hardworking person, but they don't want to risk fatigue or injury by overdoing it that’s why they take a lot of care in their health.

♂⟶ 6th house Aries are always pushing themself to get things done, which can make it hard to relax and take a break, making they even more prone to burn out.

♂⟶ 12th house Aries prefer to keep your plans private until they're ready to be shared with others.

♂⟶ When it comes to sharing their opinions and ideas, 3rd house Aries are confident and comfortable expressing themself.

♂⟶ 12th house Aries value their individuality and prefer to maintain a sense of self, even in emotionally charged situations.

♂⟶ In a relationship, 7th house Aries tend to dive in headfirst, with a passion and intensity that can be exciting, even if it sometimes leads to frequent arguments.

♂⟶ 3rd house Aries are also people who enjoys traveling, especially by car, and exploring new places or revisiting old favorites.

♂⟶ Unhapilly Aries Rising self-referencing can lead them to a belief that the universe revolves around them. However, as their notion of self evolves, the integration of their mind at its primary focal point (the self) can lead to a robust and self-aware consciousness.

♂⟶ 10th house Aries is the type of person who surprises everyone with their professional choices, especially if the native also has Cancer Rising, as everyone think that the native will choose safer careers and actually no, they choose their greatest desires and dreams for their life path.

♂⟶ When a relationship ends, 7th house Aries may struggle to come to terms with it, but it's important to focus on the positive aspects of the experience and the growth that comes from it.

♂⟶ 4th house Aries values their independence and enjoys taking initiative in their life, trying thinks that others family members never did.

♂⟶ 4th house Aries were encouraged by a strong and determined mother or primary caregiver to pursue their dreams, and this has given you a bold and outspoken personality.

♂⟶ In everyday correspondence, 3rd house Aries may be somewhat unpredictable, but they’re always ready to respond to emergencies quickly.

♂⟶ 11th house Aries courage, resourcefulness, and determination are key strengths that can help they achieve their goals and fulfill their dreams and they will fight until their last breath to reach and protect their deepest dreams.

♂⟶ While their outgoing nature can sometimes create confusion about the nature of their relationships, 11th house Aries are always willing to lend a helping hand to those they care about and value their trust and loyalty in return.

♂⟶ 4th house Aries may have ancestors who worked in military, navy, or air force.

♂⟶ In groups that are based on hierarchy, 11th house Aries can have a strong position of power and authority.

♂⟶ While this can sometimes be challenging, 11th house Aries have the drive and stamina to effect positive change and revitalize the collective spirit of their social circles.

♂⟶ 3rd house Aries need to be patient to see their visions become reality since their mind is always conjuring up new projects.

♂⟶ To achieve their goals, it's important for 7th house Aries to embrace and assume their assertive and driven personality. They’re more passionate and impulsive they might realize, which is why they’re drawn to people who exhibit unyielding and fierce traits.

♂⟶ 5th house Aries encourage their children to make the most of life and seize every opportunity, instilling them with bravery, strength, and competitiveness since this native children are highly influenced by Mars or Aries.

♂⟶ 10th house Aries possess a natural assertiveness and a pioneering spirit, qualities that can be an asset in their pursuit of t their goals. However, it is important to remain mindful of their impulsiveness and the potential impact it can have on their reputation and relationships, that’s why it is important to take the time to plan, seek out guidance from mentors and experts, and pursue goals that are meaningful and aligned with their values.

♂⟶ In their childhood, 4th house Aries may have felt stifled or embarrassed by a particular authority figure in your household, especially masculine ones.

♂⟶ 9th house Aries value diverse perspectives and are always seeking to expand their understanding of the world.

♂⟶ Building strong and lasting friendships may be difficult to 11th house Aries native, but it can also provide support and encouragement on their journey, even if this native really wants to, their journey is not to be walked alone.

♂⟶ 4th house Aries probably love playing games that require skill and bravery.

♂⟶ 11th house Aries can be more difficult if the native is a woman than a man, since aries nature is something negative for society when it is bound in a woman, their leadership, freedom and expression will be greatly pruned.

♂⟶ As a child, 5th house Aries were highly active and athletic and that passion for movement and challenge continues into adulthood.

♂⟶ People may be hesitant to offer Aries Rising help because they appear capable of handling things on their own and even sometimes refuses the help because they can do it faster and better.

♂⟶ Aries Risings are the type of people who seeks out their life’s purpose and act like what they do in life has a bigger meaner, a bigger mission that no one else can see.

♂⟶ 3rd house Aries loves to brainstorm as this type of communication manages to keep up with their taste for new ideas and fast thinking.

♂⟶ While 10th house Aries are ambitious and confident in their abilities, it is important to remain humble and open-minded, recognizing that there is always room for growth and learning since when this native put their mind in something they’re unlikely to hear anyone, that's great when it comes to criticism but terrible when it's words of help.

♂⟶ 12th house Aries appear reserved in group settings, but in one-on-one situations, they can be surprisingly assertive and confident

♂⟶ Aries Rising personality are characterized by zeal, self-assurance, and initiative, which makes them a true go-getter!

♂⟶ 11th house Aries have a natural ability to connect with others and form meaningful friendships, and they enjoy spending time with people who share your interests and passion for physical activities, they’re the of people who will always have someone to talk whenever they go.

♂⟶ 5th house Aries impulsiveness occasionally results in less-than-ideal outcomes, causing them to get into many embarrassing situations that must be dealt with by their creativity.

♂⟶ 4th house Aries might have also had a few accidents or mishaps around their home, so it's always good to take precautions to ensure everyone's safety.

♂⟶ As 8th house Aries continue to heal and grow, they are discovering the power of channeling their passion and assertiveness in positive ways, building deeper and more meaningful connections in their relationships.

♂⟶ Sometimes 6th house Aries to-do list can weigh heavily on your mind, making it impossible for them to relax and do something else that hasn't already crossed everything off their list.

♂⟶ 4th house Aries need to be careful not to become too controlling or domineering in their household.

♂⟶ While 10th house Aries have a desire for recognition and success, they are mindful that patience and hard work are critical to achieving long-term success.

♂⟶ 4th house Aries leads to a busy and active life, making they neglect their needs for rest and self-care too easily, it's as if the need to achieve their dreams for a better future makes them forget about the needs of the present.

♂⟶ 7th house Aries partner and close friends are a big source of inspiration for them, and they enjoy helping others find their courage and determination.

♂⟶ When it comes to romance, 5th house Aries tend to be confident and forward,often taking the lead in flirting and the pursuit of someone they are interested in can be thrilling, but they may find that once the challenge is over, the attraction fades.

♂⟶ When 2nd house Aries are invested in a project, they have a strong work ethic and are willing to put in the effort to get the job done quickly and efficiently.

♂⟶ 2nd house Aries deal with their stress by buying things.

♂⟶ 12th house Aries prefer to focus on building positive relationships with others than getting into discussions and debates, leaving their sincere opinion aside for the group wellbeing. They prioritize non-violent means of advocating for change and seek to avoid causing harm or pain to others.

♂⟶ Combining travel with business is particularly appealing to 3rd house Aries.

♂⟶ 5th house Aries have a busy social life and a strong desire to enjoy life's finer things. They also may have a competitive streak when it comes to spending time with family and friends, engaging in playful games and roughhousing.

♂⟶ 12th house Aries recognize that competitiveness can sometimes lead to tension and animosity, and they strive to avoid coming across as arrogant or pretentious.

♂⟶ 12th house Aries are highly empathetic, and while this can be an asset, it can also be overwhelming. Taking time to recharge and find inner balance is important to them.

♂⟶ Aries rising may pass as egotistical in their worst, and a strong sense of their self and their desires at their best.

♂⟶ Theirs positive outlook and determination make 9th house Aries believe that they can achieve anything they set your mind to.

♂⟶ 9th house Aries are independent and self-sufficient, which has given them a strong sense of direction and the drive to pursue their goals, they approach challenges with a warrior mentality, ready to overcome any obstacle in their path.

♂⟶ 8th house Aries actively works on healing and finding healthier ways to express their emotions.

♂⟶ When 12th house Aries are comfortable, they’re able to handle difficult situations with ease.

♂⟶ Aries Rising are quite willing to compromise in their relationships and care deeply for those they are close to.

♂⟶ 11th house Aries thrive in group settings and enjoy socializing with others, though they may find that some friendships lack depth and don't last long.

♂⟶ It's no surprise that Aries Rising likely had the role of the 'independent' child early on in their childhood, which has carried over into their adult life.

♂⟶ 7th house Aries interactions can sometimes be characterized by disagreements or competitions, but ultimately, these dynamics are meant to bring out their inner warrior.

♂⟶ 10th house Aries possess a strong drive and a go-getter attitude that has propelled them towards great accomplishments, they enjoy exploring new opportunities and experiences, seeking challenges that will push them out of their comfort zone.

♂⟶ 2nd house Aries financial situation is tied to their self-esteem, and achieving financial success can make they feel even better about themself.

♂⟶ 4th house Aries may find rest anywhere that's not their house.

(CC) AstroJulia Some Rights Reserved

[a-court-of-fics-and-errors]

Keep Moving Forwards, Part 6

Azriel x Reader Fic

Summary: After finally deciding to leave your abusive and manipulative mate for good, you find unexpected companionship with Azriel, the Shadowsinger of the Night Court. As you navigate the aftermath of your traumatic relationship, you struggle to understand where the mating bond went wrong and contemplate your path forward, vowing never to return to the past.

Find other parts here: Master List

Content Warning: This story contains depictions of extreme emotional manipulation and abuse, mentions of physical abuse, loss of a child, and general trauma.

Word Count: 1.7k

Author's Note:

Just a heads-up that the next part of this series will offer two reading options due to sensitive topics in the upcoming section. There will be the original post titled "Keep Moving Forwards, Part 7" with the unedited content, and another version titled "Keep Moving Forwards, Part 7, Summary" that summarizes the material to avoid any discomfort.

For those who have asked to be tagged, you will be automatically tagged in the summarized part to ensure no one accidentally encounters content they might find triggering or uncomfortable. If you are tagged and wish to read the original, please visit my main page when the next part is posted tomorrow at 12:00 PM EST. The two options will be posted simultaneously.

Thank you for your support and understanding. I'll see you tomorrow.

This is a multi-part series. Unlike my previous works, this fanfiction delves deeper than just fluff, exploring complex emotional landscapes. As I navigate this new writing journey, I kindly ask for gentle feedback. The topics addressed are profoundly impactful, touching many lives with diverse experiences. Please be gentle with yourselves and others. Healing is a journey, and everyone processes it differently. Be kind to yourself. Take what resonates, and leave what doesn’t.

Please continue reading, being aware of the above content warnings, ensuring you are in a healthy headspace. Give yourself time to process and be gentle with yourself.

Days blurred together as you continued to heal. Azriel made himself scarce, sending Anthea to check on your progress and report back to him. However, he still ensured your meals were slightly more palatable than the standard fare of the training camp, often adding fruits or sweets when he could. Over the next two days, you shared your meals with Anthea, who only ever took a bite or two before refusing any more, despite your encouragement. Neither of you asked many questions, and your interactions remained brief. You no longer needed help turning over, but your body was still weak, limiting you to short walks across the room.

On your first attempt to walk, you collapsed, and Azriel appeared like a shadow to help you up. You quickly pushed him away, determined to maintain your independence. You also began hiding knives under the mattress and storing non-perishable food in the bedside drawers, preparing for the day you could leave. Your stash included two apples, a pear, and some rolls. Not much, but it was a start.

By the fourth day, you had enough strength to get out of bed and look out the window. The camp outside was a bleak sight. You could see distant mountain ranges, but the camp was nestled in a clearing deep in the woods, a space likely carved out by the Illyrians. The thought of ancient trees felled, sent crashing into the mud for this camp turned your stomach.

The camp itself was a muddy mess. To your right and left, you saw other log cabin-like structures similar to the one you were in, each with pointed roofs and a few windows. Below, the ground sloped down to rows of small, mud-splattered tents on wooden platforms. Footprints crisscrossed the muddy ground, and soldiers moved up and down the hills. In the center of the tent village was a larger log structure, which seemed to be the mess hall, where soldiers gathered at mealtimes.

Scattered among the tents were slightly larger tents, likely for higher-ranking soldiers, and raised platforms with canopies, tables, and chairs, their purpose unclear. On the edges of the camp were fenced-in pens where soldiers, each with their hulking wings, practiced sword fighting. They took great pleasure in knocking each other into the mud and continuing their fights with fists, resembling wild animals.

A particularly ostentatious Illyrian soldier often removed his shirt during fights, choosing to battle bare-chested, swinging his sword with reckless abandon. You half-wondered if only the strongest survived because they were killed before they could even make it to battle.

You noticed very few females around, and the ones you did see were in the same state as Anthea—battered, seemingly brutalized, and sneaking between rows of tents. They quickly retreated to hiding spaces or even into the woods at the sight of a group of males. Over the next few days, you watched Anthea tread a careful path from the mess hall to your cabin, ducking behind tents and listening intently for male footsteps before scurrying like a mouse to the next sheltered area. Every female seemed fearful of the soldiers, and it wasn’t hard to piece together why.

It rained incessantly here, with daily torrential downpours turning the meadow into a muddy quagmire. Despite the rain, the soldiers carried on with their training. Many ventured into the treeline in groups, disappearing for most of the day or night and returning either exhausted or invigorated. You never saw anyone without wings coming or going from the camp, making you acutely aware that you might be the only non-winged creature among them.

Once Anthea decided you had spent enough time wrapped in bandages, she brought you new clothes. She apologized for the fit, noting that they only had sizes for males, and these were the smallest options available. While they hung from your body and required extra rope to keep the pants up, you were grateful for the offer. Azriel continued to flit in and out at random times. In your time spent at the window, you often saw him leaving early in the morning, wandering into the tented area, and entering the larger tents. He rarely interacted with the soldiers, maintaining his role as Spymaster, keeper of the High Lord’s secrets.

On the seventh day, Anthea brought your breakfast and wished you a good morning as she set it down on the bed. You remained curled up by the window, but as she dropped the tray, you called over your shoulder, “I think I would like to go.”

Anthea paused, turning to you. “Go where?” she inquired.

“Just go,” you replied, stretching your legs out and standing to investigate the meal. You picked up a piece of toast with purple jam smeared on it and met her eyes, which widened slightly at your request.

“I don’t understand. Where do you want to go?” she asked again.

You shook your head slightly. “Go away from here.”

“Where are you going?” she asked, picking at the scabs on her hands.

You chewed and swallowed the toast, the rhubarb and strawberry blend coating your tongue with its sour deliciousness. “Not sure yet. I just need to get moving. I can’t stay here anymore.”

Anthea looked at you, still utterly puzzled. “You... you can’t leave.”

You stopped chewing, placing the toast back on the plate and wiping the crumbs on your pants. “What do you mean I can’t?”

“No one leaves,” she stammered. “They always bring you back.”

A lump formed in your throat. It wasn’t that you couldn’t leave; Anthea just couldn’t imagine a world where anyone could. “You tried to leave?” you asked.

Anthea nodded, her gaze cast to the floor. She didn’t elaborate, just continued nodding.

“What happened?”

Anthea shook her head slightly, pressing her fingers into a wound that oozed around them. She didn’t speak.

“Did they hurt you?” you asked.

Anthea still didn’t speak, just shaking her head as she found a new scab to pick at.

“Anthea,” you said, reaching for her to stop her from scratching. She took two steps back immediately, running into the swords and axes poised at the edge of the fireplace, sending them clanging to the floor. Azriel appeared instantly as Anthea dropped to the floor, trying to pick up the weapons while apologizing profusely. He looked between Anthea and you, trying to piece together what had happened. Anthea continued apologizing until Azriel knelt beside her and began picking up the weapons too. She whispered her apologies again before Azriel placed his hands on her shoulders. She jumped slightly, and her eyes seemed to glaze over.

“It’s okay,” he whispered. “Nothing is wrong.”

Anthea nodded, tears filling her eyes as Azriel released her. She quickly stood, glanced at you with a tear rolling down her cheek, then briskly walked out of the room, covering her mouth with her hand. You turned to the window and watched her exit the house, heading into the nearby woods.

Azriel finished placing the weapons back in their spots before turning to you. “What happened?” he asked.

You watched the treeline for a second, and when Anthea didn’t reappear, you turned back towards him. “Nothing,” you said.

Azriel looked around the room, then back at you. “You’re standing.”

“Yes,” you replied.

“That’s,” he paused, stuttering slightly, “that’s good.”

You nodded before taking a few steps toward him. “I want to leave.”

A flash of emotion crossed Azriel’s face, but it was gone before you could read it. “Where are you going?” he asked.

You looked up at him, noting how he towered over you, forcing you to crane your neck to see his face. “It’s none of your concern.”

Azriel sighed, running his hand through his hair—a gesture you had begun to notice he did when nervous or uncomfortable.

“Look, I-” Azriel started.

You interrupted him, “I appreciate what you’ve done, and you’ve been very generous. I just think I need to move on.”

“If this is about what happened earlier-” Azriel started again, but you cut him off once more.

“It has nothing to do with that,” you noted. “I just want to be on my way and out of your hair.”

Azriel paused, searching for the right words. “Let me at least get you where you want to go,” he finally said. “It’s not like your journey was going well the last time.”

You scoffed lightly. “There’s no need for that.”

“Please,” Azriel insisted.

“If I say no, will you make me stay?” you asked.

Azriel paused. “No. I won’t make you stay.”

“Good,” you replied. “I want to leave then. Today.”

Azriel’s eyes widened. “No, that’s not a good idea.”

“Why not?”

Azriel glanced out the window as clouds began rolling in for the daily downpour. “It’s going to rain soon.”

You didn’t bother looking out the window. “Then I will leave after.”

Azriel looked back at you, his eyes pleading. “Can you just wait a few more days?”

“What am I waiting for?” you asked shortly.

“Just give me some time to plan.”

Your brows furrowed. “Given you aren’t coming with me, I don’t particularly understand what you need to plan for.”

“Just, please,” Azriel pleaded, his eyes filled with yearning. “Stay a few more days, and then you can leave.”

You ground your teeth, feeling like a caged animal. “Fine.” There was no way you could push past him, and it was clear he could outrun you if you tried.

“Thank you,” he said, his face relaxing slightly. He ran his hand over his face. “What happened with Anthea?” he asked again.

You stopped, annoyed he repeated the question. “I asked her if I could leave, and before she could answer, she accidentally knocked down the swords.” You pointed to the weapons now restacked.

“Got it,” Azriel responded. He glanced at your half-eaten breakfast. “Are you done with this?” he asked.

You nodded, crossing your arms, the bruise on your side causing a pang of pain.

Azriel picked up the tray and left, leaving you alone in the room once more. It was clear your request had bothered him as his anxiety left hard rock in your stomach. You wouldn’t be staying long, certainly not a few more days.

Authors Note: Thanks for all the continued support from the following readers who asked to be tagged!

@thatacotargirl @mcuamerica @lilah-asteria @florabelll @fightmedraco @marvelbros-oneshots @mariahoedt @quinzzelx @romantasyreader28 @minnieoo @mysteriouslydeafeningwerewolf @annabethgranger123 @krowiathemythologynerd @scatteredstardustt @romantasyreader28

[idkfitememate]

So deer reader. Yeah. I can imagine them helping collei stand at times pre-archon quest, maybe even letting her ride on heir back. That’s so cute actually…Still. angsty. theres nothing the deer reader can do to help collei. not until the traveller comes around

- Crow Anon

Slowly Healing

૮꒰˶ᵔ ᗜ ᵔ˶꒱ა Pairings : GN! Deer Reader x Collei + Tighnari & Cyno

૮꒰ྀི∩´ ᵕ `∩꒱ྀིა W.K. : 399

໒꒰ྀིᵔ ᵕ ᵔ ꒱ྀི১ Tags/CW&TW : Angst to fluff, Collei is a wee bit depressed

Today was another bad day. All it took was a look from you and Tighnari knew that this wasn’t his fight.

You silently shuttered the windows as whimpers and cries carried over from the bed in the center of the room, muffled by the blanket pulled over her head. You struggled up onto the bed and curled beside her, giving her space because you knew touching her without consent right now was basically asking for a larger meltdown.

You yipped and called out to her to make sure she knew you were there, and slowly Collie pulled the blanket from over her head and looked at you with tears in her eyes.

She looked so vulnerable.

Like a child.

You felt a hand press against your scalp and nails gently scratch at your head. She sniffed and you scooted closer.

Suddenly shaking her hand off, you jumped out of the bed, bleating at her. You fully intended to go get food, but was stopped when you heard her whimper. You looked back only to find more tears in her eyes. She had never left her room when like this, so you were shocked when she slowly slipped out of bed and wrapped a shaking hand around you.

You continued to watch with concern before she gave you shaky nod of confidence. You both then began to leave her room.

Your steps were slow, allowing her to stop whenever she wanted and always giving the option to turn around, but she kept her determined face and continued with you to the general eating area.

Helping her grab food and find a place to sit wasn’t hard, but actually getting her to eat said food was hard. You nudge and yip and bleat and otherwise but nothing really helped. Soon you just laid your head by her meal and gave her deer-puppy eyes. She sighed and took a small bite, which was enough for you to get up and start jumping around happily. She giggled.

Cyno and Tighnari watched for a ways away, making sure everyone knew to give you two space. They gently smiled at each other. They knew it would take time. But they were happy, especially since you were here to help her now.

Ever since you arrived, she’d been getting better. Bit by bit, slowly yet surely, you were helping her.

With your help, she’d be okay.

໒꒰ྀི˶˙Ⱉ˙˶꒱ྀིა Author’s note : Collie is just one of many who deserve the world really. Went through all that shit (I say this as a Dottore lover) just to still be traumatized. Also we need to thank Amber more for being a genuinely good person like… even if the placement was shitty she kept her promise and placed up posters for our missing sibling and now she’s helped a victim of Dottore’s! We need to thank her more really, she deserves it ૮꒰ྀི∩´ ᵕ `∩꒱ྀིა

[peppermintquartz]

Eddie/Josh? Maybe.

*

"I almost didn't recognize you," Josh Russo says as he slides onto the bar stool next to Eddie, and motions to the bartender. "Gin and tonic, thanks." Turning back to Eddie, he asks, "What's with the moustache?"

"Hello to you too," Eddie drawls, sipping at his beer. It's a new one that Tommy's got him hooked on, damn the man. "I just wanted a change."

Josh grins and squints at it, making a show of examining the facial hair. "It suits you," he declares. His drink arrives. "A touch of Burt Reynolds, almost. Maybe a little Raul Julia also."

Eddie chuckles. "I'm not gonna be a Gomez Addams anytime soon." He dabs at his moustache with a napkin, aware of the foam caught on it. "And why are you here? This doesn't seem like your usual hangout spot." He gestures around at the faux rustic decor, replete with steer horns and riding gear on the walls. It reminds Eddie a little of Texas.

"Well, I was gonna go to a club with go-go boy dancers, but I left my feather boa on my ride over," Josh says, deadpan. The corner of his lips twitch. "My date suggested this place and no-showed."

"That sucks." Eddie leans forward on the bar counter and tells the bartender, "Put this guy's drink on my tab."

Josh makes a rude sound. "I don't need your pity, Diaz."

"Hey, you got stood up. I can comfort a guy who's down on his dating luck."

Josh goes quiet for a moment, letting the sounds of the other patrons swirl around them for a beat. "Still, not the worst date."

Eddie cocks his head, beer to his lips.

Perhaps it's the fact they haven't really spent time together outside of their contentious collaboration during Eddie's stint at Dispatch, but Eddie finds that Josh is softer and nicer outside of work. He guesses that's out of necessarity. Working at the dispatch center requires focus, empathy, and the ruthless ability to shut away feelings after each incident is handled, for good or for ill. And Eddie knows it's easier to be on-site to try to help, than to be on the other end being unable to do anything except wait for a response.

"One of the guys I went out on a date with jumped me, with his friend," Josh says suddenly, his fingers wrapped about his drink. Drops of condensation drips onto the coaster under the glass. "Beat me up and took my wallet, my security pass. You know the rest."

Eddie goes still. He does know the rest from Buck and Chimney. He had not known about Josh being baited and then beaten. "I'm sorry about that," he says, sincere and apologetic. He pats Josh's knee. "You'll find someone nice." Seeing Josh's surprise, Eddie adds, "Nicer than you were to me."

"I was pretty nice to you. Could've bitched you out in front of everyone for not following protocol, but I didn't."

Eddie laughs and shakes his head. "You're a good supervisor. And a territorial bastard."

"Yeah? What's your story, being here all alone? Where's your usual partner-in-crime? Or girlfriend?"

"Mm. No girlfriend now. I screwed that up. As for Buck, well, he's all loved up right now, so I am not asking him to hang with a pathetic schmuck on a Saturday night."

"Ooh, storytime? What happened with the girlfriend?" Josh wiggles closer, an eyebrow raised inquisitively.

Eddie tilts his head and raises his beer. "My fault. I wasn't ready to commit, and I, uh, cheated on her. Emotionally. It wasn't like I slept around while I was dating her." He winces. "Still, it was my fault."

Josh makes a thoughtful face. "Maybe you should just sleep around a bit instead then. If you aren't really ready to commit, then don't commit. Just go out and have fun."

"Have fun? The last time I just 'had fun', I ended up with a pregnant girlfriend who, okay, gave me the best kid in the world, and then after I married her I ran away from the family, and then she ran away from her son, and then she came back, and then she wanted a divorce, and then she died. And then I cheated on my girlfriend with a woman who looks like her, and traumatized my kid, and hence, I'm here alone at the bar, feeling sorry for my scumbag self, and therefore I will never have fun again. Ever. In my life."

At the end of his rant, he catches sight of Josh's stunned expression and sighs.

"Sorry. Didn't mean to dump all that on you."

Josh reaches over to hold Eddie's hand. His fingers are cold. "Better me than some stranger, right?"

Eddie wants to laugh, but for some reason Josh's hand on his stirs a funny sensation in the base of his spine. He manages a smile. "I guess. Really sorry though. Have another drink. You deserve something nice after listening to that."

"I've heard worse," Josh says. He hasn't removed his hand. "Just this week, I've heard, like, four stories worse than what you said. You'll have to fuck things up a lot worse to land you on the scumbag list."

Eddie stares at Josh, at the nonjudgmental expression, at the slightly teasing smile, and thinks, Why not?

He leans forward before he can think any further and presses his mouth to Josh's lips. They're soft, and Josh smells pretty nice, and he's pulling away before he can really sink into the kiss.

Josh's fingers flutter to his mouth. "What was that for?"

"Being nice," Eddie says, grinning. "Positive reinforcement of a behavior, all that stuff. Maybe that will get you to be nice to me whenever you see me."

Rolling his eyes, Josh says, "That was hardly good enough a kiss to change my attitude, Diaz. You want me nicer, you gonna have to earn it."

But there's a slight flush to his cheeks and he can't look at Eddie at all. Eddie thinks it'll be fun to try and see if he can make Josh turn pink again.

[nothorses]

RE: Valorized teachers - I was a teaching assistant who was put into a self contained special ed room. I'm also a wheelchair user with several neurodevelopmental conditions. The way that I was guilted by peers for not staying to shield kids from the abuse they dealt with that was both a) triggering to see/intervene in (since I went through similar shit) and b) minimum wage so I could only afford to eat once every 24 hours was really damaging to me. "If you don't stay and keep the kids safe, they'll just be abused worse." Yeah. They will. And within a month I'll probably kill myself and that'll traumatize them too. I still love those kids and I still lose sleep over "abandoning" one of them in particular but I wanted to survive. So I did everything I could to show them I loved them and they are humans and should be treated like humans, and I left. Other physically disabled people, interestingly, did not have the same hang-ups about self sacrifice (in my experience, obviously everyone is different).

god. yeah.

I'm substitute teaching in a few schools right now to supplement a part-time job I actually love, and while I initially planned to work with the local public school system, I've ended up in a private/independent schools instead. and like.

I grew up in public schools, I have so much beef with private/independent schools (and even more with charter schools, lol. but I'm not working with any of those) and I very much know that the students I'm working with now aren't the ones who need support the most. hell, I'm not even making as much as I could be in the nearest public school system!! private schools pretty much always pay less than public schools do, and that's definitely true here.

I feel bad for not working in public schools, and I could justify that (I turned down one offer from a district because they pay even less than the private schools do, plus the commute would be a nightmare; the other district is so underfunded that they keep firing admin people and they can't get their shit together to onboard me properly, so I now literally can't work there until I get a new passport) but also. like.

I've worked with public schools before, and frankly, I don't love it. The class sizes are twice as large, the schools themselves can't really do anything innovative on a larger scale, and the teachers pretty invariably don't love working there. They love their students, but the school?? There's always something to complain about.

One of the schools I work at right now is doing shit no public school can do, the entire student population is less than 50 kids, and the kids and teachers are genuinely happy there. Like, truly, honestly love being there. And I do, too! It's my favorite school to sub for, and it's not close.

Idk. I feel guilty sometimes, but also, like... it's not really fair to ask teachers to sacrifice their own happiness for the sake of protecting a few students from a broken system. I commend the people who do it, they're making an important difference, but it's really not enough to fix the problem itself. And it's not fair to expect it to be enough.

We need systemic change. We need better funding, better pay, smaller class sizes, people in charge who know what the hell they're doing, and we need to scrap current professional development practices and invest in long-term, ongoing coaching and mentoring practices for teachers so they can (and are accountable for) staying up-to-date with evidence-based (read: student-centered!!!) pedagogical approaches.

That doesn't just happen from inside one classroom, or even on the backs of the genuinely great classroom teachers currently making that sacrifice for their students. Other people- more people than just the education field itself- need to give a shit and make an effort, too.

[thatmexisaurusrex]

🚙 - bucktommy, or buddietommy if you are up for it! love the idea of a road trip ficlet with either. 😊

You know what? Yeah. Yeah, let's do a buddietommy fic. I'm a little nervous to do one, but I hope everyone enjoys the fic 🥰

El Paso to LA

"Okay, bags - check. Chris' favorite road trip snacks organized by tastiness - check. Itineraries printed out - check," said Buck proudly, ticking off items on his list.

And.

And where had Buck found a clipboard?

Eddie didn't remember packing a clipboard. Eddie glanced over at Tommy and just got a little, Yeah, I'm not sure where he hid that either shrug.

"We have an itinerary?" asked Chris, maybe - maybe excitedly?

"Wait. Was that why you went to the business center of that hotel on the way here?" asked Tommy curiously, and Eddie did vaguely remember that.

Well.

Eddie was sort of in a state of post-orgasm high and wasn't really paying attention to anything at that point. But he vaguely remembered Buck suddenly gaining energy after all they had done and just - ran out in only pajama pants.

Huh.

Of course careful planning was what got Buck energized again.

Not that Eddie was complaining.

The round two was pretty great after that.

Or.

Was it round four at that point? It was hard to keep track of with two boyfriends.

Buck beamed as he took out an intricately detailed and kind of gorgeous itinerary on heavy stock that felt more like a wedding invitation than a trip schedule.

And.

Eddie.

Wasn't going to think wedding. God, what was wrong with Eddie? He had been seeing these two for, what? A month? Fell into bed with them after a karaoke trivia night and just - just never left. Never stopped falling into bed with them.

Not that either complained.

They seemed to take Eddie as a part of their relationship. As someone who was always supposed to be there.

Like he belonged.

And.

Eddie never had that before. He always felt like he was inextricably attached to people due to circumstances. Not that he didn't love those people any less for that, but - but this felt like the first time he was really choosing someone for himself.

Two someones.

To care about too.

Who cared about him.

Who checked on him. And, fuck, people didn't usually check on Eddie. They didn't ask if he was okay. They didn't curl up next to him and make him feel - feel safe. And wanted. And cared for.

And Eddie was going to have to explain this to Christopher soon.

Somehow, he was going to have to explain that this was more than Dad's two very good friends helping him pick Chris up from his grandparents after an understandably needed summer away.

Eddie would explain it.

But for now, he was just happy to see Buck and Chris excitedly talk about all the roadside attractions they were going to see.

Perks of a boyfriend who traveled all across the country, Eddie supposed.

Eddie felt an arm around his shoulder and - and he looked up. Annoyingly, he had to look slightly up at his boyfriends. Why did they both have to be two inches taller than him?

"Hey," said Tommy.

And.

And.

Okay, Eddie smiled at that. Which was ridiculous. The only thing the man said was hey. Yet it still made Eddie giddy.

"Hey yourself," said Eddie, a little frazzled by the fondness in Tommy's eyes.

"It's going to be okay. We're here for you, Edmundo," whispered Tommy and, fuck, the way Tommy could say a first name.

Nope.

Can't jump him now.

Your son is right there, you cannot traumatize him by climbing this tree of a man where god and everyone can see.

"I - I know. Just. I just need a minute. To take this in. To know that it's really happening," said Eddie.

To know that he was getting his son back.

It was almost too much. To have his whole heart there. To have Christopher want to come back home. To have him home with Buck and Tommy.

Everyone Eddie wanted right there.

Eddie leaned on Tommy, allowing himself to feel the immensity of that.

[miss-nerd-alert]

Just left the theater from seeing Sound of Freedom

It’s an intense and emotional watch, which is to be expected given the subject matter, but I highly recommend it to anyone and everyone.

The film does a remarkable job of respecting the victims of human trafficking while not shying away from how traumatic their experiences are. At no point in the film do you ever see these children as anything other than that, children. There’s no lingering shots of their bodies, no indication that the audience is meant to find them tantalizing, and absolutely NO DEPICTIONS OF THEM DOING ANYTHING SEXUAL. Not once does this movie ever forget that these are children, or that they have been victimized by those who should know better. Any other studio, any other filmmaker, and the message would’ve been undermined by leaning into the exact kind of thing the movie is supposed to condemn.

You will feel uncomfortable and gross sometimes, but that’s the point, because what’s being done to millions of children and adults every year is disgusting and wrong and it needs to be stopped. You will cry, both for those who’ve escaped such horrible circumstances and those still trapped in them. You will even smile, as you see good people fight to do the right thing even when it’s hard, and see those who’ve been harmed escape their abusers to freedom.

If you have any love in your heart at all for children, I encourage you to see this movie and support those who fight to end human trafficking.

“It were better for him that a mill-stone were hanged about his neck, and he cast into the sea, than that he should offend one of these little ones.” — Luke 17:2

[the-cat-and-the-birdie]

You don't know how much I want this character. You don't understand but I just gotta ask

Is This ATSV Character Thai?

aka a crash course in Thai tattooing and Buddhist tradition

Please correct me if I'm wrong - but I was really interested in her tattoo.

And looking at the tattoo they singled out beside her - it made me question:

Is that a Traditional Thai tattoo? Is that supposed to be Sak Yant?

And immediately I saw the opportunity to infodump about Buddhism and Thai cultural tattooing! (And my personal experience with it)

It makes me think that maybe this character was meant to me Thai - because her tiger tattoo resembles the twin tiger Sak Yant tattoo.

If you're unaware, Sak Yant is a type of traumatic tattoo native to Thailand.

Connected deeply to the Buddhist faith, Sak Yant tattoos are specific designs that are claimed to have spiritual power.

Typically done with a traditional needle and stick rather than a machine, Sak Yants are tattooed by a Thai Buddhist teacher, an Ajarn.

Each Sak Yant design grants the wearer fortune, protection, or a virtue relating to a Buddhist value.

Each Yant comes with conditions though.

In order to preserve the spiritual power of the tattoo, the wearer just act in accordance to certain standards of Buddhist teaching - simple things like no murder, no adultery/cheating, no lying, etc.

They say if you do these things, your Yant becomes useless over time.

Many Muay Thai fighters have many Sak Yants, typically for protection - which could be the reason she's wearing herself.

However, that doesn't necessarily mean that she's Thai - for one, the tattoo might not be a Sak Yant.

It doesn't exactly match a true Sak Yant design, however, it's fairly close.

It seems as if the creators mixed the Suea Liaw (left) and Suea Koo Maha (right) designs, combining them to form the unique design for the character.

This would be an interesting choice.

The Twin Tigers are one of the favorites of Muay Thai, as it represents protection, power, and authority, which could be useful to sometime working a bar like her.

However, it also seems similar to the Yant 'Suea Leaw Lung' - tattoo similar to Suea Liaw - except with a raised paw, much like hers. Leaw Lung is said (grain of salt unless you're hearing from a Ajarn though) - to bring positivity and safety to those struggling in life.

So the tattoo might not be a Sak Yant - or it could be a Yant style created specifically by the creators of ATSV (as they may have wanted to avoid using a real one, as they're really hard to do unless you're an Ajarn and know the symbols and language).

And also, not everyone who gets one is Thai - though many who get it are Buddhist.

Like me!

Angelina Jolie is popular for the number of Yants she has on her back.

Angelina is in fact a Buddhist and has raised her children within the religion*.

She, like most other Buddhists, got hers done traditionally, under the hand of a Ajarn.

The one in the center of her back - is actually the one I have as well.

(Angelina's back after her 5th Yant)

Religiously, I am a Theravada Buddhist - though I more focus on the Plum Tree Tradition of Thigh Nhat Hanh.

Theravada Buddhism is the type most prevalent in South East Asia, in contrast with the Nepali and Tibetan Mahayana - which the Dhali Lama belongs to.

I got my Sak Yant done under the hand of an Arhat as well, traditional needle style about 3 years ago in Chiang Mai (Northern Thailand)

The one I have is Yant Putsoorn - the 5 Buddhas yantra.

Although there are many vague ass descriptions of what each Yant means online - my Ajarn personally told me Putsoorn is aimed at raised compassion mindfulness towards yourself and others as well - usually known as loving-kindness.

So she could be specifically Buddhist as well, if the tattoo is supposed to be Yant.

I think the idea is so so cool, because you may see traditional Japanese tattoo designs, many breathtaking , but it's rare you see other forms of traditional tattoo in day to day media!

I really really want to see her in action now! Just to see that tattoo up close. Plus she's so bad-ass!

I was SO SO SO excited to see her tattoo, and I really hope it is one! More Buddhist characters please. You can be hardcore and Buddhist too!

But does anybody have any other theories of what this tattoo could be? Do you know why traditional designs outside of Yant that this could be? Do you agree this could be Yant?

I'm curious!!

* Just a bonus: I wanted to highlight my use of the word religion in reference to Buddhism. Often in the West, Buddhism is reduced to a 'philosohy' or 'a way of life' rather than a legitimate religion. This is reductive. Buddhism is a religion, with monks, nuns, plains of existence, 'heavens' (very different context than Abrahamic - being reborn in heaven actually makes it harder to reach nirvana, because you are tempted by more comfort. Being born on Earth is the easier way to reach nirvana). Buddhism has ceremonies and centuries worth of text and practice - like Sak Yant. Although it is centered in mindfulness, acceptance, and love - and these teachings can be used by anyone regardless of religion - Buddhism is a religion. Just one far removed from the western Abrahamic understanding of religion. You can read and encorporate any of the teachings, it's very very very open. There are no borders between people, and any heart that is open or desiring it can engage with Buddhism as much or as little as they need to. But I think it's important to refer to Buddhism as a religion so the world conversation on religion isn't centered on Abrahamic, Western ideals and history - when in fact there are many loving, kind, and rich religions out there. From Hoodoo, to Sikhism, to Buddhism and beyond :)

[brightblurr]

rant about Gundam SEED FREEDOM.

So there were some things I loved about Gundam SEED FREEDOM. As a movie, it functions as a great bit of fanservice, does not take itself seriously, and moves along fast. It includes so many throwbacks that remind you of Gundam SEED DESTINY. It had some high moments and some low moments. While I enjoyed it overall, I didn't enjoy some things about it, and they're eating away at me.

How they treated any female who isn't Lacus. This movie obviously intended to put Lacus leagues above every female. Any female character who threatens to outshine Lacus is stripped of time in the movie. Cagalli? The fan favourite character, who won in polls against Lacus? Has minimal screen time. She has no planned figurines ahead. When the director couldn't continue to push Meyrin between Athrun and Cagalli, he started to outright exclude her. Outside of some scenes where she's in video calls or meetings in Orb, she has no real interactions in the same room with any characters. She can't outshine Lacus if she isn't really involved, right? Nevermind that she helped fund compass, she apparently recreated the Strike Freedom, the Infinite Justice and the Destiny Spec 2, and gave it to everyone. Lacus gets the special piloting suit, Lacus takes the special Might Freedom attachment to Kira. Lacus ends up with the credit. It isn't just Cagalli, either. Lunamaria and Agnes don't have especially flattering pictures painted of themselves. Meyrin is very sidelined. Murrue's scenes are limited to where she is acting as Captain, or around Mu.

There is no presence of Flay in the movie. Outside of a single flashback scene, Flay is never mentioned. We know, based on Kira's depression in DESTINY, and his shock over Flay's death in the last part of SEED, that he was traumatized from her death. Her spirit said it would protect him. If Shinn can have Stella haunting his mind, why couldn't Kira have Flay protecting him? I strongly believe it is for the same reason as my first point. Flay would severely undermine Lacus as a character. If Flay had been protecting Kira with her feelings, it would mean Kira has a person in his life besides Lacus. They center Kira entirely on Lacus and don't have him interact much with anyone except her in the movie. It would have been nice if Flay had been in a scene, had some sort of closure for Kira who had mourned her.

Kira's co-dependency and toxic relationships. Kira was co-dependent on Flay. He was then co-dependent on Lacus. I think this movie, which tries to show Lacus and Kira are truly in love, does the opposite. Kira literally breaks down the instant Lacus is taken away and does not know what to do. He is so dependent on Lacus that he can't function without her. Before FREEDOM, in DESTINY, we see that their relationship is virtually non-existent. No intimacy, no romance - they hug and kiss on the cheek at the most. It is actions that are the opposite of Kira in SEED, who made love to Flay and was not afraid of showing his feelings. The sudden jump to Kira being intensely in love with Lacus is jarring. It just shows that Kira left one unhealthy relationship for another. Even if Lacus is not openly manipulative, she is still forcing his co-dependency. This movie portrays that their relationship is still unhealthy.

Lacus is perfect. She is not perfect. But this movie tries to portray that she is. Lacus goes from being a young girl who can influence others with her music and her popularity to... basically better than the Ultimate Coordinator? SEED and DESTINY's main focus, especially, is how Kira is the pinnacle of human growth, and that he is the most powerful person in existence. This movie basically undoes the entire premise of SEED, and DESTINY, by having a group of mindreaders, and Lacus, who is essentially more powerful mentally and has better abilities than Kira himself. It becomes worse when they undermine Kira as the Ultimate Coordinator by saying he is a failed Accord. Further, when Lacus is suddenly able to fly the Proud Defender, it contradicts what had been shown in SEED DESTINY. In Destiny, Lacus struggles to even move the Infinite Justice. This movie suddenly has her piloting the Mighty Strike Freedom, using its armaments, doing things Kira Cannot Do. It is the strangest transition. They took away Kira's status as someone who is above and beyond all, and made Lacus a God. I almost don't know how to comprehend why the writers thought that making Lacus that powerful suited her original place. She was already able to break so many rules, such as going stealing mobile suits from ZAFT with no consequences, had almost no emotions most of the time... Now she's basically a God. The only Accord left. I liked the character, I still tried to enjoy it, but she reached levels of Mary Sue that were unbelievable in FREEDOM.

The Strike and the Archangel. I think this is just me speaking for nostalgia sake, but they didn't need to destroy the Archangel. It was the only thing that tied together SEED and DESTINY. It was the legged ship. Destroying it destroyed an important part of the series. It was stupid how it was destroyed, too. I'd also have really liked to see the Strike in some form (not the Strike Rouge). It was Kira's first mobile suit, it was where he had the most innovation. But it seems like they want to avoid having Kira near anything to do with SEED and his early relationship with Flay. The Strike, especially when Kira piloted it, was Kira piloting it to protect Flay and the Archangel. It is clear the FREEDOM is how they want to portray Kira and Lacus, connected. Destroying the Archangel only further separates Kira from his past.

Kira and his old friends. Kira never interacts with Sai or Miriallia. He never thinks of Tolle, Kuzzey, Sai or Flay. The movie completely wiped out Kira's connection to his old friends. I think it's a shame.

The side-characters were more interesting than Lacus and Kira. This movie did a fantastic job of bringing the side-characters up to par. I found that Orphee's motivations were far more interesting, were more to discover. This movie did an amazing job of ensuring that Shinn owned the spotlight. They showed him at his lowest after DESTINY, gave him a new motivation (wanting to work WITH Kira and help the world), and gave him an opportunity to show his loyalty and growth. In the theatre I went to, everyone went crazy when Shinn was in the DESTINY. He was the star of this movie, if only because he deserved it. Likewise, the movie gives one or two moments where characters speak about Athrun as if he is a legend. When Athrun does make his appearances, whether in the Z'gok, or piloting the Strike Freedom (too deceptively well, might I add), and finally in the Infinite Justice, we just continue to see how Athrun has worked for his prowess and his reputation, and how it is truly there. The movie cements Athrun as a legend, despite barely being in the movie. This movie, despite being named FREEDOM, was truly the Shinn Asuka and Athrun Zala movie.

When Lacus said yes to eliminating Kira. I understand that in the movie, Lacus is in a difficult situation... but instead of believing in her love for Kira, the person she has lived with and known for over four years at this point, she makes the decision of believing Orphee and killing him? And this is never addressed again. We don't see consequences of her actions. Because she is essentially the forced, perfect protagonist of this of this movie, she never faces any consequences. It is forgotten.

The Accords don't make sense. Nevermind that mind controlling villains don't fit SEED, but they should have jumped in in DESTINY. They should have been major players much earlier. If they were so attuned with Durandal, why didn't he call on them? Why are they enacting his plan out now? What benefit is it to them? Why didn't they take advantage of the chaos after SEED or DESTINY when the world was recovering?

No Rau Le Creuset. Because he's the best part of these series.

I think overall I have a lot of complaints about this than I do compliments. I wish they had just listened to fan feedback over the course of 20 years, and given them what they wanted. We had a lot of Lacus and Kira. I personally wanted a human Kira and Lacus. Not the god!Lacus we ended up with.

[cattewife]

worldbuilding notes for my extensive t/gcf snzfic modern au

which i will not exploring in the least in-text because i haven't the energy for the parts that aren't getting me off lol

i was gonna save these until after part 5 but then i was talking abt it with @bestwhumpist and got excited so here they are (directly copied from my notes so it's a mess!) it's mostly broad strokes of character backstory (very broad) + some random thoughts and notes that snuck in to the document which i have left in!

not sure if this needs it but just in case as always, pls no reblogging to non snz/kink blogs, ty!

• hc is a famous multimedia artist who went viral after he made a series that exposed and ruined 33 influential figures that were involved in the takedown of the xie family fortune and/or xl's disenfranchisement directly

he used a huge chunk of the money from that series selling (basically bankrupting himself for like 5 years) to buy and renovate a hotel/casino (paradise manor/gambler's den) AS an art project which then turned out to be more lucrative than anyone could have expected (there is talk of expansion but right now he's still living  very well but not actually ghost-king-billionaire yet lmao) (like i'm picturing a 2-3 bed apt in city center -> 5-8k a month rent(?) kinda place except he probably owns it )

• hc is 28, xl is 35

• they have been dating for?? several months at the start of the series.  yes they are u-haul lesbian moving in together, it's hualian

• xl was various states of homeless/destitute from ages ~26 to ~34

‣ some kind of popular figure before that-- (idol??  governing body?) someone hc could keep track of from ages 17 when they met to 25 when the Ruination events hit.

• hc IS fairly not-well mentally lmao (neither of them are) (not addressing this in this fic) but hc was institutionalized briefly (tong'lu hospital??) after xl disappeared and he tried to rip out his eye ;)  or lost it in a fight?  HMMM.  (hc ~19yo).  anyway he changed his name after this.

• (ruoye is actually named that (re: the double meaning in the characters in his name) bc xie lian found him as a kitten sleeping on him for warmth right after his unsuccessful suicide attempt.  but also he is just one of those cats that everyone is fucking allergic to so xl gets a free excuse for morbid cat names) (yes xl did keep ruoye thru his time on the streets.  yes he is a clingy shoulder cat that's how that actually worked out x,D) (ruoye is 10, e'ming is ...  probably 2-4)

• yes this IS a high drama "how to make modern au mirror canon" instead of "what if things were different bc modern au" setting.  for my incredibly self-indulgent fetish material.  why? ??? (*crickets*)

speaking of which.

‣ xl before the snz revelation WAS mostly chaste despite modern au no-cultivation partially bc he was raised that way/then too traumatized and insecure, and partially because it all made no damn sense to him ‣ used to try to masturbate and often just got nowhere with it only discovered True Horny once he got with hc but even then sometimes would just have trouble coming ‣ (these are all things that somehow became! part of the past! after the snz reveal x3c )

‣ (!!! xl worrying that it's bad/rude of him for their sex life and specifically his interest in it to have gone up so much because of this but at this point it is hua cheng's turn to pull "isn't it like we're fated to be tho?"  this works very effectively bc xl is So Demi that actually yeah pretty much only /hc sneezing/ works for him )

if you have read all this thank you for coming to my ted talk about the fetish fanfic i am overly invested in (^・ω・^ )

[yuseirra]

Persona 3 and Oshi no Ko- About losses and moving forward

Spoilers for both works are included!

Do they seem like an odd combination? But watching them back-to-back made me realize some things. This is my commentary/stream of consciousness about how these two works tackle the loss of someone precious, and having to go on without them into the future. They do certainly share that theme in common, and it's made me think today :) I feel it's a meaningful subject to tackle.

This was originally written in another language- chatgpt helped me translate it in bulk ;v;) gah it really helps me lately; I can't dare type the full thing again, but I want to share my feelings...!

If you've been following me, you'd notice that I've been into two works (Persona 3 / Oshi no Ko) lately! Both works share the common theme of dealing with the loss of a crucial figure in one's life. In the case of Persona 3, I felt that the main story encapsulates a person’s life leading up to death, while the epilogue(episode Aigis) focuses on those who cherished that person, their lives stuck in limbo because they can’t let go, and the eventual return to the future after grieving. Literally, after the death of a very significant character, time stops for everyone left behind, trapping them in the moment. This seems like a metaphor: after losing someone, you don’t want to move on and would rather stay in that moment forever. If you move forward, it feels like you’re leaving that person behind, so you wish the future wouldn’t come. Or on the other hand, you might want to bury it all and move on as if nothing happened. But neither option is really the right answer, is it?

The correct path is to face the many aspects of that cherished person, remember them, consider what they might have wanted, and hold onto those memories as you move forward. That's the right thing to do, and in reality, the world we live in isn’t a fantasy, so it can’t be any other way. Time doesn’t stop, so you have to choose whether to move forward or stay still because the world isn’t kind enough to stop with you. Reality is harsher.

For the characters in Persona 3, the sudden loss of someone who was the center of their world left them all in deep shock, just when they thought only happiness awaited them.

In Oshi no Ko, someone is killed in the worst way possible, and this shakes the lives of everyone around that person to their core.

I genuinely believe that the person Ai really loved, that infamous boyfriend, didn’t harm her. I really don’t think he did. It just doesn’t seem like it from how the story unfolds. I’m not trying to force a hopeful outcome; it just doesn’t align with his character. It also makes for a better story if he didn’t do it. Ai’s son and daughter are deeply traumatized by what happened as well.

Today, I read several articles about suicide survivors, and they mentioned something like this (I’m paraphrasing from memory, so it might not be exact): When a death strikes sudden and shocking, as something you’re not prepared for, the time it takes for your logic and heart to accept it is drastically different from one another. It becomes incredibly difficult to come to terms with.

With a more gradual death, such as from illness or natural causes, your heart and mind have some time to prepare for the loss. But this kind of death leaves deep scars of guilt and confusion for those left behind.

From reading those articles, I began to think, whether the manga creator intended it or not, that both Aqua and Hikaru couldn’t accept Ai’s death. Even after many years, they’re still trapped in that moment, unable to move on, much like the characters in Persona 3 who are stuck in the "abyss of time" in -the answer-.

Among the three, Ruby is the most… how should I put it… She’s severely depressed too, but she’s still the one thinking about the future, dreaming of what she wants to do.

Aqua, deep in his heart, also doesn’t want to be trapped in these feelings anymore and is starting to long for peace and happiness (because his current state is incredibly painful and it brings him suffering).

As for Hikaru… he has none of that. He’s the character who, out of the three, has completely given up on the future, not even wishing to escape from his self-blame and depression. This isn’t about comparing the depth of their sadness; it’s just that he doesn’t think about his future, nor does he want to escape from his despair.

These dynamics make sense because the degree to which each character feels responsible for Ai’s death increases from Ruby to Aqua to Kamiki. The extent of their guilt over the death of someone so precious to them has profoundly affected their hearts.

That’s why I found the concept of "making the movie of Ai" in Oshi no Ko really clever from this perspective. One of the articles I read mentioned how some people, when going through the belongings of the deceased, like a diary, would realize there were sides to the person they never knew. This led them to look at the deceased from a different perspective.

For Aqua and Ruby, making the movie about Ai might have been part of their grieving process. By examining Ai’s life, they began to understand her as a person better than before. And I think Ai’s wish was always for her loved ones to be happy. What she left behind was a confession and a plea to the people she loved but had to leave behind. She was such a lovable person. Instead of being remembered for the moment of her death, she’ll now be remembered for how she appeared in the movie, right? If the movie gets released and goes public. Aqua, in particular, has a traumatic memory of Ai being stabbed, but after making the movie, I think he’ll remember her as the Ai he met while filming. And because of that… after making the movie, Aqua was able to tell Hikaru that he would move on toward the future.

As for Hikaru… I’ve said this about the character before, but I don’t think he wanted to live after Ai died. If he’s been clinging to life, it’s probably because he wanted to do something for Ai. But he’s in a state of utter despair. If you pay attention to his emotions, you can sense something overwhelming and burdensome. And whatever I’m feeling can’t possibly compare to what someone in that situation would feel, right? This must be… really hard. He must not want to live. That’s what I felt. To feel these emotions, I think this character must have had very little actual involvement in Ai’s death. The more involved he was, the more shameless and brazen he’d have become. There’d be a thorny, defensive attitude like, “So what? Sure, I did some things, but they made mistakes too, didn’t they?” You see none of that in his actions. So, I think it’s more likely that he didn’t do anything.

He hasn’t been able to move on at all. It’s like he was unable to take a single step forward from the moment Ai died. He’s probably been living with that kind of deep sorrow and despair, thinking he deserves to suffer as punishment, and he might have intentionally kept those feelings alive. That’s why I believe this character would’ve tried to undo the situation. To him, it’s as if time hasn’t passed at all… He just couldn’t accept Ai’s death, so he’d wish, even at the cost of anything, that it hadn’t happened, and maybe he wished he were dead instead of her. Without Ai, as the lyrics say in the song, he can't go on living. He doesn’t even want to live. If there had been any hope of saving her, I think he would’ve clung to it. If such a hope didn't exist, it would’ve been tough for him to hold on to these emotions for so long.

And that heart of his could begin to shift after seeing Ai’s video. Only then he would have began to realize he actually has a life with a tomorrow. It would be painful, but he realized Ai wanted him to continue living and move forward. So he has to do it. If he can't do it for himself, he must do so for Ai.

I’m not sure if he’s actually in a state where he can move forward because we don’t know how much guilt or sins he’s carrying. But it seems that only after seeing Ai’s video did Hikaru realize that he has a life ahead of him.

In order of Ruby, Aqua, and Kamiki, they seem to be progressing in their journey to move on after Ai’s death. That’s how I see it.

If someone that precious to me died, I think I also would wish time wouldn’t move forward. I couldn’t bear to see those memories fade, and I’d want to stay close to them forever.

If there were hope to bring them back, I think I’d feel a strong urge to try. That’s why I’m attached to characters like Yukari. The whole world is at stake if she goes through with it though, so I can't support her with 100% conviction, but I do see where she's coming from and I sympathize with it to a degree.

As for Kamiki, he believes he killed Ai (which I don’t think is true. It would be better for the story if it weren’t true). In that case… he can't bear to live. Ai, in terms of character relationships and setup, has been crafted in such a way that Kamiki would consider her several times more precious than his own life… She was his everything. She gave him everything that he loved. Like in the song “Fatal” where the lyrics repeat that sound like Ai, Ai, Ai, after the words, "致命的"(fatal), "運命的"(fateful), "必然的"(sacrificial), she was that kind of person to him. Losing her meant he couldn’t go on living. And if he believes it was his fault? Honestly, I don’t even know how this character is still alive. Maybe, as the title Mephisto suggests, he’s alive because he made a deal with the devil. The emotional structure in this manga is very realistic, delicate, and authentic. I believe the author has a deep understanding of psychological pain.

He was in a state where he couldn’t even begin to grieve because he couldn't bear accepting she passed. Only now, he might finally be able to. He’s revisiting what kind of person Ai was, how lovable she was (isn’t that video incredibly endearing? From Hikaru’s perspective, it’s like Ai was confessing her love to him saying "Hello! I really love you! I want to be with you forever!"). He saw her again and was reminded of who she was. That’s why he can finally begin to step out from that dark place he's in.

And that’s probably what Ai wanted. Ai really... did it. Even though she unintentionally caused pain to the people she loved, in the end, she saved them. I think Ai really liked Hikaru a lot and genuinely wanted to be with him. Not just that I think so—she actually said it herself… haha, but yeah, I think she did save him in the end… Even after her death, she ultimately saved him and her children too. It’s amazing…she's great.

In Persona 3, when the main characters decide to go see what the protagonist did, and then figure out what to do afterward, it’s somewhat similar. Figuring out what kind of person the deceased was and what they wanted—since they’re already gone, you can’t have a conversation with them or meet them directly, but still, it’s necessary to put aside your own feelings and just look at things as they are. And that became the answer to what the right thing to do was.

I’m lucky because I haven’t experienced a lot of death yet, so I still have opportunities. If someone you cherish is still alive, you have the chance to show them how much you love them.

I’m not without guilt either; there are things where I think I could have done better. But as long as both the other person and I are alive, I can still express my feelings.

The sad thing about being alive is that someday you’ll inevitably part ways. But the happy thing about being alive is that if you have people you love, you can be glad you met them. Even though you’ll eventually part ways in sadness, it doesn’t make the happiness meaningless—it shapes who you are. I hope that, for the people who have given me that kind of happiness, I can remember them more as the joy that makes up who I am, rather than just with sadness.

Maybe that’s the kind of story this is telling, too. Persona 3 definitely conveys that, and I think Oshi no Ko can also be seen in that way.

If you look at the three of them who have experienced the loss of Ai, Ruby is indeed moving in the most desirable direction, isn’t she? Besides, this manga has quite a few fantasy elements, so I think it’ll be okay. I feel like Ai, who really became a star, is probably watching over her family, the ones she loves most in the world. You can dream even more in fiction than how things are in reality. That's the good thing about "fiction", you can get a definite happy ending. Don’t you think they can be happy? :)

[aita-blorbos]

AITA for joking about a traumatic experience I went through?

Hi. Recently I (17M) got into a bit of a spat with a guy who I thought was my best friend, and so I’m looking for opinions.

For some context, a while back I took some freaky drugs. Some can’t-even-look-it-up-on-the-internet, top-secret type of shit. Something-something quantuam nanotechnology CPU.

Listen, I don’t really get it, but all you need to know is that they put a computer inside my brain. And the computer told me what to do. It helped me to be cool. It helped me rule.

That’s how I befriended stupid J (My “friend,” 17 M) in the first place. Before I took those drugs, I had NO-ONE. I was a LOSER. A dork who didn’t have a clue! But my computer brain made me POPULAR. Suddenly, I had all sorts of buds, and he was my favorite of them.

Real cool, badass sort of guy. A little bit dumb sometimes, but nice, too. I appreciated his friendship.

…However, eventually, things went tits up with my computer. Stupid thing started harassing me and I realized I wanted it GONE. It was going to, like… drive me insane or something if I left it be. I came to this realization in the midst of a party J was hosting, and desperately tried to get rid of the computer. But the only way to shut it off was with some long-discontinued nerd soda, and I didn’t have any of that! No-one did! So I did the next best thing.

I set a fire and I burned down J’s house.

Listen: I know how nuts that sounds… but you’ve gotta understand how desperate I was! I HAD to get that thing out of my head. Right then and there. And if the only way to do that was, like, ending my life or whatever in some terrifying inferno, then so be it.

And I DID almost die— passed out from smoke inhalation and everything. But stupid J had to intervene. Initially, he evacuated at first signs of the fire like everyone else, but then he realized I was still inside and decided to play hero. He ran in to rescue me, desperate to save my life.

He did manage to drag me away from the center of the fire, but just as he was nearing the exit, the house collapsed on him. Both of us survived, but we were pretty badly burned, and J broke both his legs.

Obviously, I felt pretty shitty about that. But it’s not like I could apologize right away. I was in the HOSPITAL.

And while I was in the hospital, some nightmare shit went down at school.

J and some other kids were putting on the school play (apparently, he felt well enough to be discharged early, albeit in a wheelchair), and unbeknownst to him, some jackass spiked the punch bowl they were using as a prop. Because of this, all of the actors in the school play, J included, were infected with the stupid computer pill brain drug, and they went on a rampage.

Eventually, another kid (I’ll call him LamerJ) managed to stop the madness. He found that long-discontinued nerd soda and shut off all of the evil computers, including the one inside my head (We all, like, had a psychic link via our computers. Long story).

Before he did this, though, like a complete dumbass, J stood up. Instructed by his computer to try and stop LamerJ, he GOT OUT OF HIS WHEELCHAIR AND STARTED MOVING AROUND.

The good news is this didn’t hurt him because the computer shut off his nerves or whatever. The bad news is walking around while you have already fractured legs is going to do irreparable damage to your body and he ended up SERIOUSLY messing himself up.

In just a few minutes, J’s prognosis went from “Your legs are going to need some time to heal” to “You will probably never recover fully. You are going to have a semi-permanent condition for life.”

J was… uh, pretty gutted about this. Dude was big into sports, and so that kinda damaged his prospects.

I apologized to J, OBVIOUSLY, and he said it was good. That we were all good. He said he wasn’t upset with me and he got I wasn’t in my right mind, and after that things were supposed to go back to normal. He was going to be able to get to know the real me.

But here’s the thing: I was struggling with some shit, too, and you know how I cope with that sort of thing? Through humor. I’d make jokes where I called myself stuff like “flaming hot’ and all the other kids loved it. Helped me feel a lot less shit about my burn scars. But apparently J had an issue with that.

He pulled me aside into the boys’ bathroom one day and, out of the blue, started demanding I needed to stop making jokes about the fire. All of a sudden, it was upsetting to him. I told him that I got why he was so crabby about things, but that the fire traumatized me too, and that I deserved the right to laugh at myself if it helped me cope.

I told him it wasn’t me he should be mad at for his injuries, anyways. He should have been mad at LamerJ or YetAnotherJ, who were responsible for letting the punch bowl get spiked. If it weren’t for that, the damage wouldn’t have been anywhere near as serious. They were to blame. Not me.

But he said that wasn’t true, and that as his friend, he expected more of me. He reminded me it was trying to save me he was even hurt in the first place.

I told him I never ASKED him to rescue me. That was his decision. I said I was sorry I didn’t go and factor his feelings into my GODDAMN SUICIDE ATTEMPT.

He started getting really angry. I got angry too. He said I ruined his life, and I said he must have wanted his life ruined. Something about those computer chips is they can’t make you do anything you don’t truly want. Therefore, at least SOME part of him wanted to stand up and shatter his legs. Maybe to get out of the responsibility of having to decide what he wanted to do with his future or whatever (Since he’d always been SO flaky about that).

He said if that were true, then clearly I wanted to burn down his house and hurt him. I told him the computer didn’t make me make that decision and he said that was even worse. He said I NEVER thought about how my actions affected the people around me, and then stormed off, saying he never wanted to see me again.

…AITA? I wasn’t trying to…— shit! I was just trying to cope with everything that happened. I didn’t realize he’d be such a stick in the mud about it. But maybe I am still a dipshit? For, like, being so stubborn or bringing him into all of this or whatever? I dunno. I feel really stressed.

This all sucks, man. Wish he’d just left me in that fire. Bet he’s wishing that, too.

[glsneeg-enthusiast]

both. i want both.

pleahs

cannibalism and gay sex

so franks fr a corpse right just under the filter i hope you know that. and he was canonically friends with sneeg and its. implied. theyre in love. if you just watch the show. and the gay sex is funny haha unless you think about it and how mlm couples are always portrayed in media. like brokeback mountain for example (praying youve watched it) was turned into a big fucking joke about the characters constantly having sex when thats not at all what it was about and im using that as reference. gay men are always portrayed/watered down to three tropes (constantly having sex, gay because its funny, or guy thats "straight") and thats what showfalls all about. and clearly austin represents the last one and sneeg and frank were the second but theyre also the ones that have sex jokes centered around them so you can only Assume right. anyway sneeg still sees frank as The Real Guy so whats stopping him from doing things youd normally do with your boyfriend yknow. and theres also like. sex holiness metaphor but thats a whole nother thing and idk if youre deep into the rc thoughts like that

and i have like a whole thing about the cannibalism that ive sent to someone before that im not rewording and typing so im just pasting it -> sneeg ate frank which is caused by a whole thing in itself right because slimecicle wasnt feeding him in the cage and he didnt even get through the cooking show where slimecicle tried to feed ranboo like twice but even if he did get that far he probably wouldnt have eaten any of it anyway with how he talks about slimecicle right. and its more or less implied that sneeg had been in the cage with franks body for atleast a little while and he would still have to eat something. and slimecicles a cannibal so why would he even bring sneeg food in the cage when theres already food in there with him? and even if you were to ignore all that sneeg was still the only one that consistently ate throughout episode two. and its really implied that all the food in general is organs n such just under a filter because slimecicle was eating it and then in episode two in the candy room when vinny tries the candy he spits it out and says its disgusting but sneeg didnt have a problem with it he was eating the entire time they were in there. sneeg knew frank before he died and if you take the "everything about the characters is a metaphor for how media portrays things" seriously you can assume that they were in love with eachother which leads to really the main reason i think showfall would kill frank and not bring him back like they do with everyone else because evidently theyre homophobic. anyway you put sneeg in that cage with franks body and nothing to eat he will eventually have to eat frank to stay alive whether he even knew frank was dead or not. and cannibalism can be a metaphor for so much like sure i guess from a meta perspective you can take the cannibalism in the show as a metaphor for how audiences just take and take but in universe they really are eating people. and innocent cannibalism is traumatic and awful and would add the layer to the characters that everyone always talks about but i really do think the idea of sneeg eating franks body is so much more compelling than charlie unknowingly eating some guts that was served to him. cannibalism isnt an easy thing it takes hands and teeth and bravery and you really do have to be set on it to do it. and it wasnt like he could leave the body after eating or get rid of it or anything and no matter what kind of cannibalism it was he still was carrying around whatever was left of frank and talking to it like frank had never died at all and in the bad hat scene when the filter broke for sneeg he had to have seen that frank was dead and fucked up from getting eaten. and with the idea that they were in love you can take the cannibalism as a metaphor for it because even after frank was permanently dead he wouldnt leave sneeg because sneeg ate him and its not like showfall could just undo that even with how powerful they are they could never undo that sneeg had bloodied himself and touched and tore and consumed and loved frank no matter how many times they reset him or how many times they kill him in gruesome ways

[mygwenchan]

Another renaissance painting shot :)

Also interesting to note that, with the exception of Teena, they're all looking away from each other (Teena, the ever supporting bf 😌)

Well, at least Nont is aware that he has fucked up... Though the twinks have been fighting among each other even before Nont showed up, so it's not entirely his fault

Way to kill even the last bit of hope and good mood, Zouey...

This is another instance where I think Zouey went too far and was too judgmental towards someone. Also, he's conveniently forgetting that it was Porche who killed a guy and not Nont. Nont never had the intention to kill anyone (not even Prom).

Yeah, Nont has had enough as well ;;

And now First is the voice of reason! They still haven't found out what happened to Nant. There is still a mystery to be solved!

Everyone has better things to do in life than deal with shitty situations, Zouey. Still doesn't mean we should simply abandon our friends!

There, First is right! Ohana means family and family means nobody gets left behind or forgotten 😤

And now Zouey is just being a cunt tbh. Turning the knife in the wound to really make it hurt, aren't we?

I'm kind of annoyed by Zouey. He is very self-centered and forgets that he's not the only one who's hurting. Nont lost his twin brother, First and Captain also lost their friend, not to mention that Soong and Teena are still shaken up and most likely traumatized by what happened to them under that bridge (Zouey keeps mentioning Teena, but did he actually ask his boyfriend if he's doing ok? Is he offering support and kind words? Nope... Instead Teena is the one who's trying to comfort Zouey). Then the whole thing with Jason still chasing Porche and Jump and Aob and Puen who have to hide (after Puen nearly got drowned...). But here we have Zouey, who has to make everything about himself 🙄